Date Someone Who Is Wrong For You

When Devon and I started talking we were both interested in other people. We both wanted to see these other relationships through, and so we sort of put each other in the friend zone. We would text but totally PG and I would even ask him advice about this other guy. I was fine with this because through texting with him, I knew he wasn't my type.

This is going to sound silly, but the reason I wasn't really interested in getting to know him in a romantic sense was that he was "too positive." He spoke to me like he was speaking to a crowd of people as a motivational speaker. He used a lot of smileys and exclamation marks. Of course being this upbeat is better than being negative, but to me it seemed fake. And I let him know that pretty early on. (He stopped with the exclamation marks haha)

We texted for a couple months before we actually met up and I was the most nervous. I knew he was nice and I knew we had good conversation and I knew he was funny and obviously a cutie, but that was about it and it could have gone either way.

So why did I decide to actually meet with him? Because life is short. I knew that the sort of guy I had been going for hadn't been working for me. And I knew that at the very least I would leave with us being friends.

If you are currently in a rut with dating, try going for someone different. Devon is literally the best person for me that I have ever been with. We have our differences but so many more similarities. We have the same sense of humour, and complement each other really well. Of course there are always things to work on, but I can honestly say that every single day I live with this kid I am grateful to have him around. And I never get texted exclamation marks anymore :)

Why I Stopped Taking Birth Control

(Start ramble) I've been on birth control since I was 17. Since then I have never not been on it. I've only ever used the pill and never had any problem with it. UNTIL last year.

Last winter I got a really bad virus. We're talking worst ever. Three weeks in bed with not a whole lot of food. Thought I was dying, with countless of walk-in clinics and the doctors not being able to find anything except "it's just a really bad virus." I blame it on living with children but who knows. Anyway, I swear that the virus changed some things in my body, because after I healed and was back at work, I started getting really bad migraines regularly. I've gotten migraines with vision loss before, but never very often. These started happened almost every day, and taking care of a toddler is not an easy task when you can't see and your head feels like The Rock has his hands on either side and is squeezing as hard as he can.

I tried changing my diet, my sleep habits, my water intake but nothing was working. So I started doing my own research and obviously decided that I was dying. Lots of trips to the walk-in clinics (I didn't have a doctor while living in Toronto) to try and figure it out, or figure out what meds would help. On one particular visit the doctor was asking me the standard questions, "Do you take any medications?" "Just birth control." She confirmed it was the pill and then got super worried that I was having blood clots in my legs, which is a possible side effect of the pill, and said I needed to go to emerg. Which of course freaked me right out because I can't deal with anything medical. I had the baby so I told myself that it was enough of an excuse to wait until the next morning when my sister, Bridget could go with me.

The next morning bright and early we hopped on the street car and went to the hospital. Where we waited for about 6 hours in total for various tests and results. I got an ultrasound done on my legs, my blood tested, everything else tested. They found nothing except "must be a virus." And I went on my way.

While all this was happening I was in the process of getting a doctor, and I finally had an appointment. It was just a regular check up, but I mentioned how crazy my health had been and she started asking me some questions. She wanted to know what pill I had been taking (Marvelon) and said that to her limited knowledge, that would be making my migraines worse. She switched me immediately to the mini pill, and booked me an appointment with a specialist.

Fast forward to the specialist appointment. By this point I had been on the new birth control for a month or so, and stopped having migraines. He agreed that it was a smart change and gave me some more tips and I moved away from Toronto. In Sarnia, my skin started getting really bad, which I attributed to moving and stress and blah blah. But I did all the things I should do and changed all the things I should change and it wasn't getting any better. I googled my new birth control and saw that while other pills improve your skin, this one makes it worse. Great.

I went to see a doctor to talk about my birth control options. And I had next to none. Basically there are the birth controls that contain estrogen (the majority of them) which caused me to have migraines, and there are the other ones, progestin-only, that cause me to have bad skin. These are limited to the mini-pill, which I have been taking, and the depo-shot, which is the same hormone in a different format. Aka there is no reason why it would be any different than the mini-pill.

It's frustrating, because I never had a problem with the pill. I remembered to take it every day and I felt great. And now I can't seem to find something that will work. So what did I do? Stopped taking it. And started doing research on "natural birth control" aka the fertility awareness method. Which I always thought was a funny joke and why doesn't everyone just take the pill because it's so easy. Jokes on me. I have no idea how this will go but we will see. Wish me luck pretty please. And if you have any advice, resources, stories, I would loooove to hear!

QUIZ: Should we have moved in together?

Now that we live together I thought it would be a good time to see if we SHOULD live together and take a dumb little quiz I found on Google called 'Are You Ready To Move In Together.'

1. How much time do you spend together?
a) Every night
b) Once or twice a week, at most
c) Most nights

2. How often do you talk about the future?
a) All the time
b) Sometimes
c) Hardly ever

3. How well do you get along with his family?
a) Great!
b) I haven't met them yet
c) We don't see them that often

4. Are you both happy with how the money will separate out?
a) No, I hate the way he spends money
b) Yes, we have the same ideas about saving
c) I'm hoping it will sort itself out.

5. How long have you been in a relationship?
a) Over 2 years
b) 0-6 months
c) 6 months to a year

6. Have you talked about who will do what around the house?
a) I'll do it all.
b) We plan to split it
c) We'll just keep doing what we've been doing

7. How often do you argue?
a) All the time, but we always make up
b) From time to time but it quickly passes and we're quick to apologize
c) Hardly ever, and most of the time it's a heated discussion rather than a blowout.

8. How did you feel when you think about moving in?
a) I was a little nervous but excited
b) We've been fighting a lot and this is just what we need!
c) Kinda sick...

9. Have you both been faithful in your relationship?
a) We've had rocky patches but never strayed
b) One of us has cheated but we worked through it
c) Of course

10. What is your main motivation for moving in together?
a) We can't afford our own separate places
b) Saving money on bills but also we want to take that next step
c) We want to have our own place that we can start building our life together in



And.... the results!

Phew. I am so glad to hear that SoFeminine.uk gives us the OK. But in all seriousness, I think this topic would be great to talk about so the next couple will be about cohabitation and what I've learned so far. And the worst parts of living with your boyfriend ;) #toots

Talk to you lataaaaa

Liv

I'm Moving

I have mentioned that I'm moving in other posts but I haven't actually done a whole post about it. So here is the full juicy juicy.

When i moved to Toronto last year and started working with Loic, it was a 6 month position. That turned into a 9 month position, which then turned into 12 months. It made more sense to wait until after the summer so he could start daycare in September, when his older sister went back to school. I was fine with it. I had no plans afterwards and leaving him made (makes) me sad. So I continued on my merry way and the months went by and now I am sitting here with one month left.

I started talking to Devon at the end of last summer but we didn't actually meet until November. Before we had even said that we loved each other, I brought up the what if. I knew I was done in September and I could realistically go anywhere after that. One viable option being back to my parents house because #cheap. He had signed up to go to school in Sarnia for September ps. You know those things you think but never say to the person you're dating because you don't want to scare them off? Ya. Every single one of those thoughts gets spoken with him. Because he is impossible to scare off ;)

So I asked him, IF we are together and want to and all that jazz, what do you think about me coming to Sarnia with you in September? And he was on exactly the same page as me. We still had months and months before we actually had to make that decision, but it was good to know where his head was at. So months passed and things were good and we went to an open house at the college, and actually looked at some apartments that weekend. Then some more months passed and we knew we definitely wanted to get one of those said apartments. And then yesterday we got a call that we actually got an apartment. So now it's the real deal and this is actually happening.

Why am I moving in with someone after dating them for less than a year?

Because that's how I do things. Go big or go home. I could say that it was either go to Sarnia or back to Ottawa and that Ottawa is way too far to do a relationship. But in reality, I love the kid and we work really well together and this is a super healthy relationship. What's the worst that could happen? If we don't work out, at least we figured it out fairly quickly ;)

What am I going to do in Sarnia?

Cook meals and scrub floors. Just kidding. I'm in the process of job hunting! I can't decide if I would love to do another childcare position, or switch gears and do something in retail. So I'm exploring both options right now. We will see. I have a pretty spiffy resume template going for myself.

So no more kiddies on here?

Who knows? I've got some ideas up my sleeve. For the time being, enjoy kid things for another month! Also make sure to follow me on my instagram for super cute photos of children enjoying their summer activities. (livbearblog)

Liv

Apartment Inspo

In approx. 50 days I will be leaving Toronto and my job as mommy #2 and heading off to start a new adventure. Devon and I are moving to a little town where he will do a year long firefighting course, and I will do something super cool that I haven't figured out.... Haha I'm pondering both childcare and marketing, but open to anything. We will see. 

The fun part right now is slowly buying apartment things and deciding what we want it to look like. Luckily we have the same taste and lucky for me he is the most easy going and I get to make most of the final decisions :) 

I am super into white and neutrals. We have all white linens and will be getting all white basic dishes. Because I am picky about those two areas. We already have a white bed and dresser, and I am into this kitchen table, but think it might be a little flimsy for da boy?

I feel like we need some life in the place (having no puppy and all) and want to get some big potted plants like the one above, a fish bowl, and grow some things in pots on the balcony. The house I live in right now has the most amazing vegetable garden, and while veggies aren't my favorite thing ever, I am definitely into the idea. I have already bought a strawberry plant, and am thinking tomatos and green beans...

We go see a place this weekend that looks amazing and we both have high hopes for. Send good vibes!

All photos, with the exception of the fishbowl, are from Ikea. 

Liv

#GirlBoss

I got a phone call from the library yesterday, saying that I had a book on hold that needed to be picked up ASAP. I couldn't remember ever ordering a book and had no idea what they were talking about, so when I went in this morning I checked it out. Turns out I had ordered #GirlBoss, by Sophia Amoruso. Like a month ago. I still don't remember doing this but alright, I went with it. While I haven't started reading it yet, there is a 99.8% chance that I will like it. Why? Because girl bosses are the best type of bosses, duh.

What is a #GirlBoss? Well, I'll let you know when I read the book. But I assume that it's a woman who shares some qualities with these ladies below.

Beyonce Knowles-

Ban Bossy is a campaign dedicated to helping girls become leaders and feel comfortable sharing their voice. While the campaign did receive it's fair share of backlash, I love this video that female celebs, including Bey, took part in.

And let's not forget that Beyonce is just Queen B. Performing 'Drunk in Love' with her husband here, and this acoustic version of 'Halo' here. Shivers or no?

Lauren Conrad-

If you didn't fall in love with her on Laguna Beach, I don't know why. Next time you have the flu/are lazy, go watch it here. And then watch The Hills. And then The City. Okay. LC is a #bossgirl, and has done it all, been a TV star, author, and fashion designer. She stands up for what she believes in, and once even left a Mexican restaurant after learning it didn't support marriage equality. One of my favourite Lauren moments is pictured above. When the interviewer asked her favourite (sexual) position, she responded, "CEO." And drop mic.

Nicki Minaj-

I love Nicki. People have mixed views on her and that's fine. Watch her documentary here and I promise you will love her. She is a sweetheart and funny and knows what she wants. That time she read "Still I Rise" by Maya Angelou and killed it here. Oh, and PS- She looks great with any and every hair colour. I love blonde Nicki in this video. 

Mindy-
It's been awhile since I watched The Mindy Project, and I binge-watched it so fast that I can't give you details, except the fact that it's amazing and hilarious and you'll be addicted. I love how you can see her personality so much in the show, which you can find on Netflix. Mindy is also an author and advocate about the importance of having a healthy body image. This article talks about why she is such a great body-positive icon.


Who is someone you consider a #GirlBoss? Celebrity or not, tell me below!

Halloween Costumes I Would Wear If

It's been a couple of years since I dressed up, and I'm not this year either. My hallowen will probably spent with the kiddies and then maybe the sister and I will hit up a haunted house or something fun in the city. I'm definitely out of the party mode in general. I got that out of my system in college, so I'm completely okay with a halloween that doesn't involve beer.

However, if I DID have a party to go to… and the curves to pull these getups off, here are some that I just might consider. All costumes found on the Yandy site.

here

Spandex is not forgiving. You need to eat salads for the whole month of October to be able to pull of this one. I have not been eating salads, but if I had the bod going on, yes please.

here

I love this one because it is so weird. It's called 'Sexy Goldfish.' The word sexy is not something I would ever use to describe a goldfish but hey, someone thought this up. And I'm kind of into it? It would be a good conversation starter at the very least, and you'd (probs) be the only Sexy Goldfish at the party.

here

I'm all about food. Food costumes are good. This one is super simple but also super cute. A banana! And you can make your man be a monkey! Done deal.

here

Cher! Yes yes yes. Yellow is not my colour and I'm not a fan of plaid, but for some reason this outfit that Alicia Silverstore wore on Clueless was perfection and I am in love with this costume.

here

This one is a good option because I feel like it would be comfy and cozy. October is chilly and if you're going to pick a skimpy little costume at least pick one made out of this bunny material? Sign me up.

Are you dressing up this year? What's your costume of choice?

Plastic Surgery

Loving yourself, but not every single part of yourself. Sounds pretty realistic to me.
I love myself. Overall I'm happy with my body. It does what I need it to do and I see constant small improvements from going to the gym on a regular basis. Of course there are some things I wouldn't mind improving, but that's fine. I'm okay with that. Then there are things that cannot be changed this way.

If I had all the money in the world, would I spend any of it on fixing changing things about myself that I couldn't otherwise? Ya, I probably would. And what's so wrong with that. Life is short, and if you have the opportunity to feel better about yourself, why shouldn't you? If you are overweight, you have the opportunity to loose weight through diet and exercise. There is a very real possibility that you can change this insecurity. If you have always had a bump in the bridge of your nose and felt self conscious about it, what can you yourself do to fix this? Virtually nothing. So what is the big deal about taking the necessary steps to fix what you don't like about yourself?

Obviously there is a fine line and many celebrities have crossed this due to a distorted view of themselves. But I really do think it's possible to stay well in the safe zone. Personally, I can see myself getting a boob job one day. And by that, I mean as soon as I have the means to do so, it is something I will do. My mom doesn't like this idea. And I can understand why people don't. They have a bad rep and a sexualized image. But my reasoning is reasonable. (I think?) I have a larger bottom half then top half. I have skinny arms and a small chest, but I've always had a tush and thighs. Simply put, I'm not very proportionate. I don't fit into clothes like I would like to, and I never fill out anything. Would me getting a breast augmentation mean I'm suddenly going to wear tiny shirts and hit up the bars and be acting crazy? Not in the slightest. If anything, I could cover up more because I would have a shape either way.

To put some perspective on it, I hate needles. My mom has to take me herself because if I'm by myself I will probably get up and leave. But I am willing to undergo this invasive, unnecessary surgery because it is that important to me. What do you think?

Please leave your opinions or thoughts below!

Getting Over Him

I like to think of myself as being pretty good at handling breakups. It would be a lie to say that I never have gotten upset when a relationship has ended, I think everyone, even if they know it's for the best, is at least a little upset. But for the most part, I deal with my feelings and get over it and move on. Easier said than done I know, but here are five tactics to helping you deal. (None of these photos are of actual boyfriends btw, just random photos used!)

1. Learn Something New. Download an app and learn a new language, take an art class, learn a new activity such as Stand-up Paddle boarding, there are numerous options on this one. 
2. Better Yourself. Go to the gym, get a new hair-do. Look good, feel good! There is always the "Make him wish he still had you" mentality, but really, do it for yourself. 
3. Be Social. You won't feel like it, but go out with your friends and surround yourself with family and keep your mind occupied. Being alone isn't going to help you out at all.
4. Travel. Getting out of town is a great way to get your mind off of being sad. I've been fortunate enough to not have to live in the same town as any of my exes when I broke up with them, and not running into them or having to hear what they are doing is so helpful. 
5. Download Tinder. Whether you use it to simply swipe left or right, or actually meet up with some people, you'll be able to see what else is out there. And how many (better, smatter, more good looking) guys are out there. Think about all the other fish in the sea! 

Keep your chin up, hug your mom or your best friend, stock up on Melatonin to take at night so you're not up all night with your thoughts. It gets better every day so just focus on one day at a time! And remember, you will never find the right one if you had stuck with the wrong one! Now get out there and find your right one, or at least be open to the possibility :)

Liv

P.S. Deleting said person off of social media is always a good idea. Make it as hard as possible to creep them. Of course you still will a little bit, but you really don't need to see their every move...

Not Wanting to Travel

Barbados Summer 2015

Everyone I know has caught the travel bug. With just graduating college, a lot of people my age have decided that going off and having an adventure is a better idea than getting that full-time job right off the bat. I understand. I'm not quite ready to grow up just yet… But I gotta say, I feel like the best way for me personally to spend this little "gap" is to make money rather than spend it?

My next 6 months will consist of moving to Toronto and living with my cousin and his family as a live-in nanny. It puts off real grown up life for a little bit and I'm not spending a ton to do this, but rather I'm bringing in some money. And the big city is far away enough from my little town.

Summers at the Cottage

It's not just about the money though. I've never been much of a traveller. We go to the cottage every summer, which took the place of vacations. The family went to San Diego, California when I was about 13 and I was going through an "I hate everything" phase and was a nasty grouch the whole time. I remember everyone went on a bike trip to a nearby beach and I stuck around the condo and watched MTV. Not to say I didn't have any fun the entire trip or anything, but I definitely didn't take advantage of it.

The way I see it, I'd rather spend my money on something like making my house comfortable to live in than on a vaca. I'd rather save up for a car than go to spring break in Cancun. What can I say, I'm a homebody I guess. When I picture spending my money, I want a nice little apartment with a dog and a comfy couch. (Boring right?)

Toronto last October

With my Facebook news feed being full of amazing travel photos from places all over the world, it's easy for me to wish I was doing what they are. You hear parents bragging all of the time about how their kid is off backpacking Europe, or building schools in Africa. You don't hear parents talking with the same enthusiasm about their kid who just put another grand into his savings account. That's not exciting.

It's easy to get caught up in excitement of travel and adventure, but we all have to remember that everyone is different and there is nothing wrong with the alternative. I would always choose comfort and reliability over adventure and spontanenity. I'm sure I'll go on some trips in my life and absolutely love them and have a blast (aka Barbados) , but it will never be a focus in my life and that's okay. That's just who I am.

Liv